“Grieving someone who’s still alive, that’s hard”: the experiences of non-offending partners of individuals who have sexually offended – an IPA study

The non-offending partners (NOPs) of individuals who have committed sexual offences face significant repercussions following the discovery of their partner’s crimes. However, NOPs support needs have typically been overlooked, with priority instead placed on equipping NOPs with the skills to monitor their partner’s behaviour and/or protect their children from sexual abuse. The present study used Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis to qualitatively explore the accounts of women whose partners had committed a sexual offence (n = 9). Results highlighted that NOPs experience multiple losses, trauma, and dramatic shifts in their identities and cognitions following the discovery of their partner’s crimes via a “knock on the door” from the police. The findings highlight NOPs post-discovery support needs and have implications for professionals and agencies working with NOPs.

These findings indicate that the non-offending partners (NOPs) of those who sexually offend experience disenfranchised grief, trauma symptomology, social isolation, and shifts in identity and cognition following the discovery of their partner’s offence. NOPs are a population in need of clinical intervention, and a greater provision of support services are urgently needed to help NOPs cope with the ongoing devastation discovery wreaks on their lives. We hope this research bolsters understanding of NOPs experiences and contributes to a shift in conceptualising NOPs as secondary victims of their partner’s crimes, who are deserving of support and compassion.